why do i agonize?

i'm crafty. let's rephrase, i like to craft, and that includes scrapbooking. i've found myself in a slump for quite a while now, not even wanting to do crafts; of any sort. sure i've still been reading my crafting blogs and oohing and aaahing in my head over all the creations, and within the past few days, the bug has hit again. today i sat down to do some digiscrapping. and then it hit me, why i've been avoiding anything in the crafty realm: i agonize. endlessly. i agonize over color scheme. over elements. over placement. over journaling. over everything.

case in point, this

<-----------------------------

it's ok. nothing spectacular, pretty basic, and it took like 3 hours. with a template. it should not have taken anywhere close to 3 hours, if only for the fact that i used a template. a great template (you can get yours from jennifer fox designs). i did alter it a bit: i only had 3 pictures i wanted to use and i just wasn't feeling the flowers today, but really those are minimal changes and it still took three hours. sigh. i'm not even a perfectionist. why do i sabotage myself by over thinking every little thing? i guess i'll keep plodding away with my little projects and maybe in time i'll whittle my creative process down.

credits: slurpeegirl13, songbirdavenue port auprince collection,  jennifer fox, templatesandmore, gina cabrera, amy hutchinson for after 5 designs

should i or shouldn't i

my go-go-gadget-girls, like most kids i imagine, love to bake. or maybe it's genetic. i love to bake. i loved to bake when i was a kid oh so many years ago. before bike helmets, seat belts, car seats, and the fear of licking the bowl or eating raw dough. i vividly remember that being one of the highlights of baking. sometimes i liked the raw state more than the cooked state - and believe me when i tell you, i loved (and still do) the cooked state! back to now. go-go-gadget-girl #1 and i made orange and cranberry muffins yesterday; go-go-gadget-girl #3 and i made blueberry muffins this morning. 

i let no one lick the bowl. 

except me. 

when they weren't looking. 

 

that got me thinking, i don't think i'm any worse for wear for doing so. i've never contracted salmonella or some other horrible disease and died and i've been bowl cleaning for nigh on 40 years. am i being over protective by denying them one of life's greatest little pleasures? do you?

ah, quiet

so today is #1 go-go-gadget-girl's 9th birthday and the house is blessedly empty. why? the 3 go-go-gadget-girls and mr. fast lane went to the bike shop for a basket for gggg's new bike! isn't it cute? it's the one she wanted, a good little cruiser, just like moms - except mom's is bigger, blue,  and has 21 speeds. 

anyway, back to the quiet house. it seems fitting for moms to get little perks on birthdays, after al,l they did all the work, the kid just showed up; i used to send flowers to mr. fast-lanes mom on his birthday, and even did it a few times to my own family - which they thought was weird. what do you think?

my baby

sadly, i don't remember it as clearly any more, but 9 years ago on this date i was ensconced in a birthing suite at the local hospital. 

 

we had been there since about 10 am for an induction. #1 go-go-gadget-girl technically had a due date of 7/4, which would have been great, but my mid-wife was leaving for a trip back home to s. dakota near that time and didn't want to risk me cooking the kid longer than that because she wanted to be there for the birth of this child; we had been through so much together she and i, both with this high risk pregnancy and a previous pregnancy that didn't end so well, and this truly caring, compassionate woman wanted to be there. maybe even needed to be there. so, we planned an induction. 

 

as these things go, 10:00 came and went and another of her mothers delivered, so we, naturally had to wait. we finally got the ball started around 1:00. i was nervous, excited, and did i mention nervous? if memory serves, i think about this time i was in a tub of extremely hot water trying to ease the pains of labor (yeah, it didn't work so much). mr. fast lane was watching a mariners game. nice. i won't bore you with the details, suffice it to say that 13 hours later, a healthy 8lb 3oz baby girl came screaming into our world (and hasn't stopped talking since!)

 

i am, and forever will be, grateful to ms. L for all she did for us, not only for #1ggg, but also through the birth of our twins; while she couldn't be my 'doc' for this even higher risk pregnancy, she kept in contact, advised and listened, and even drove me to the nicu in seattle when i couldn't drive because of the c-section.

 

so while i'm early for the actual birthday, i thinks i have good enough reason to celebrate right now. happy almost birthday to my 9 year old go-go-gadget girl!

really?

go-go gadget girl #1 will be NINE on sunday. for some reason i'm having a hard time getting my mind wrapped around that. technically, i could really have a 10 year old son, but that's a story for a different time. so anyway, nine and no party. we had to cancel her sleepover because she did something so heinous (ok, she wrote that her sisters were stupid....no, not in her diary, but in her sister's writing book) that the only way to impact upon her how serious this was, was to cancel her party. trust me, it was hard. secretly, i was not to unhappy with the prospect of not having 300 million 9 year old girls up half the night in our basement - not to mention the expense we dodged. however, we were still doing the family party (with extended 'family'). now, come to find out the they're not coming! they are on vacation. now. they never go on vacation. never told me they weren't coming. and they are #1 child's godparents! i'm a bit miffed. i think that normally i would be alright with this, but while we still faithfully attend every birthday celebration for their clan, they have been missing ours for various reasons. it's not like we don't do other things together, we have dinners, celebrate holiday's etc., what's up with birthdays? is it because i change things up and let the girls invite other friends as well (they always have only a family party with the same people and the same food)? is it the food (they are picky eaters and i let the girls pick the menu)? or have we just about come to the conclusion of our friendship. that would make me sad as this family has been one of the constants in our girls life. i'm not really sure what to think.

day one

summer that is. today is the first day for us to be lazy and sleep in. wouldn't you know, i'm up at 6:00! yuck. i'm going to try and be strict this summer: chores before play; but i'm not always so good at that. nothing major planned, hopefully a lot of friends over for play and trips to the parks, 1 vbs, golf camp for one and swimming lessons for all. other than that, we'll be winging it and playing it totally by ear! hold up your coffee cup, give a little toast and welcome summer!

survived day 1.....may start drinking ;)

grateful today

i am in such awe for single mothers (i've had to do it for shortish periods before due to work & medical stuff) and it is HARD! i'm so grateful that mr. fast lane is not simply a sperm donor, but is quite hands on with the 3 little laners - i would be a screaming mimi without him. happy father's day.