it feels like sunday

everything is 'off' with mr. fast lane being home from the surgery and all, but compound that with the fact the fact that all 3 kidlets were home yesterday because of a teacher in service day, and it is the perfect recipe for day confusion. even though i kept forgetting it was actually friday, it was a glorious day; if it hadn't been for a breeze, it may have actually edged over into hot. as it was, it was pretty warm, or maybe it was because i was actually being physical and weeding the front flower bed.  as a kid, weeding would be a punishment, and because of that, i despise weeding. it's too bad, because i love flowers and would love to have one of those gardens you see overflowing with flowers and plants, all meticulously weeded. it doesn't help that mr. fast lane is very utilitarian with the yard work. he mows, but rarely edges or weed eats, so the grass has slowly creeped into the flower beds. i want to get some of those concrete edger things, but every time i think of them, i can find something better to do with the money. ironically, we are not the eyesore yard of the neighborhood. will see if have time for more today, between the FOUR birthday parties and t-ball game.

i've been thinking

with everything that has gone on with mr. fast lane's surgery, i've come to a few conclusions, and i'm going to share them - chances are, other people feel the same way, i'm just stupid enough to voice them, because trust me, i know how this sounds.

while flowers are nice, and i in particular adore them, i may never send them again; don't get me wrong, i totally understand the caring behind the sending of flowers - i've been an avid flower sender myself - but frankly, mr. fast lane really doesn't care if he gets flowers, balloons either for that matter (i, myself, am not a fan of the balloon bouquet), and things that remind him how he can't be in the fast lane and won't be for quite a while seem a bit cruel. the most appreciated? grocery cards and meals. let's face facts, surgery=no work=no money, so gift cards to grocery stores? GENIUS! and even though it's mr. fast lane who had the surgery, the whole family 'had' the surgery with mrs. slow lane taking the brunt of it (except for the whole pain part). petulant, yes, petty, maybe, but i am in effect a single parent (with an extra kid) for at least a month. the simple act of bringing a meal to someone in a situation like ours is an absolute sanity saver. a big thank you to everyone who sent flowers, balloons, etc, but to those of you who brought meals or grocery cards? i am nominating you for saint hood.

conclusion #2: you can tell the true character of a person by how they act/respond/behave in a situation like this. which are you, the person who says 'let me know if you need anything' or the person that mows the grass, makes a meal, brings the kids home from school - without being asked?

mama's day

it's coming up isn't it? i've been poking around the internet looking for my mom - haven't seen her in 23-24 years. there are times i've missed her. my wedding. the birth of my first daughter. the birth of my twins. these are times a mom should be around.....at least. i look at my own girls and wonder how she could be absent for so long. does she think about me? does she care? i pray that the relationship i have with my girls lasts a lifetime - i want to be there for all the big things of course, but it's the little things that mean the most to me right now. the monkey hugs; the 'massages' i get from my oldest at night - granted, she just wants to stay up later, but i cherish those intimate times with her; walking hand in hand to school; even yelling at telling them to clean up their rooms is a gift, one i wouldn't trade for anything.

speaking of gifts, have you heard of lisa leonard designs? she's a fabulous jewelry designer. i've been lucky enough to get some of her stuff for mother's day before. it's not in the cards this year, what with mr. fast lane's surgery and him being off work for so long, we simply can't afford extras right now; something about a roof over our head and food in our tummies seems much more important. however, maybe i can win something - or maybe you could. one of the blogs i read is i should be folding laundry, and right now she has a give-a-way for the fabulous lisa leonard. head over, check them out, it could be your lucky day....i know it's mine.

is anyone sleeping?

me, not so much. i'm exhausted at night and fall asleep easily (yay!) but it's restless and i've been waking up earlier and earlier. today was 5 am. i realize that some may think i'm a slacker because i normally sleep until 7:30 - for many, the wee hours is when things get done: exercise, laundry, bills, cleaning, etc. but, since the most exercise i get is walking the kids to and from school, laundry is never ending here (come on, 3 girls, you do the math) and i'm not a spic-and-span type of mom, i would really rather sleep during those wee hours thank you very much. i'm sure it stems from my anxiety over mr. fast lane's upcoming surgery - who wouldn't be nervous about open heart? two daysto go. i'll make it with the help of these guys

aren't they adorable? there's actually 4 of them in this family, but like any kids, try and get them to pose for a picture. i go to a nearby pond nearly every night (i've been going for almost a year now) to feed and watch the ducks. it's paid off! they're pretty used to me and so feel ok bringing the babes around. the food (cracked corn) doesn't hurt either. there is another family with two ducklings that comes around too. nature's valium.

not so slow anymore

so much has happened and is still happening. here are the highlights: our district took the full time kindergarten out of our home school, and for several reasons i won't get into, we felt for our girls would not really benefit from 1/2 day kindy so we challenged them into 1st grade (before you get all up in arms, they turned 6 in october). just like any decision you may make for your child, you wonder, you question yourself, you doubt. in the end, it was the absolute right thing to do. they are flourishing! doing better even than many of the kids that WENT to kindy. we have a great school and great teachers. miss m has the best 3rd grade teacher anyone could ask for and still likes school (yay!). with the house empty for the first time in 9 years, i did a lot of dancing around naked. no, not really, but it was different being home alone; so i became a para-ed sub in our district. technically, i can work at any of the schools in the district, but so far i've only had jobs at our home school. i went into it to earn a few extra dollars (VERY few) from a part-time gig, but it turns out i really enjoy it. don't be looking for me to go back to school to get my teaching certificate however!

what else.....oh, this past winter, miss c started to have what turned out to be seizures (5 so far). lots of testing. lots of stress. but in the end, she is fine, there is nothing physically/organically wrong. they could have been triggered by a myriad of things, and we may never know what. we've decided to take the watch and wait approach. 

it's mr. fast lane's turn to be the center of the medical spotlight. this friday he is having open heart surgery. yes, my incredibly healthy 51 year old husband who used to run marathons but now bikes instead (he did the STP last summer btw) has to have heart surgery. 2 things: 1) his is having his mitral valve repaired; he currently has severe regurgitation and his heart has enlarged because of it; this has led to 2) he is experiencing bouts of a fib. they are going to do a 'maze' procedure on him to block the extra electrical pathways causing of the a fib. the worst part for him? he hasn't been able to run or bike since march - and that people, is his stress release. the worst part for the rest of us? he'll be in the hospital for 5 or 6 days - he is my stress release. i'm going to be a single parent for a little bit. yikes, how am i going to do it? i guess it's just like anything else, you just do it and you get through it.

good news this week though. we found out that one of our favorite nieces (who lives in MN) is coming here for college! double yay! another of our nieces (who lives in IA) had her baby! 2 gentle reminders that we need to focus on the good things.

and on the other hand....

there are those children that are over the top gift givers. it's like an endless gift bag, just keep putting your hand in and every time you bring it out it's full of some fun item. not cheap crap mind you, but good stuff: twistable crayons, high quality wooden logic toys, national geographic activities, etc. this same child often adds a gift card for $10 or $15 as well. and i do mean child. these gifts are all child driven. the child in i speak of is an indulged only child. i appreciate that she values my child's friendship but i almost feel dirty letting my child open these gifts; like she's being bought off.

i know. i know. can't win for losing with me.

it's the big 8 for my oldest today. wasn't it just yesterday that she was refusing anything but my b**b? screaming when anyone, and i mean ANYONE, but mommy or daddy picked her up or held her? sigh, i can not believe how fast it's going.

on a different note, i am going to complain about birthday gifts for kids. let me say first that i am not materialistic. i do not expect anyone to spend a bunch of cash on my little ankle biters; i, in fact, rarely spend more than $10 on a gift for birthday parties - always books and/or art stuff.

what i do not understand is when 2 children from the same family are invited to a birthday party and they come bearing a singular gift (worth $10 - i'm telling you the cost for comparison only). yes, i realize times are tough (although this family is truly not hurting) but really, you can't go to half price books and get 2 books for less than $10? or joann's and get a crafty item for 3.99 each (without a coupon)? the capper is when one of those same children sees a ($15) gift from some one else and says 'oh yeah, i got that for my friend's birthday tomorrow'.

and while i'm ranting about birthday gifts, if you are invited to a birthday party of twins, please, please, please bring EACH child a gift. again, it doesn't have to be something expensive and frankly i'd rather it not be. we all know that these things are for the most part played with for a week or so and then broken, lost, or interest simply wanes.

there is always someone who brings ONE gift to be shared between my twins; and no, it's not a game or something they can play with together. hello. they may have come from 1 egg but they are individuals with 2 minds, 2 likes, 2 dislikes. please acknowledge each child.

yes, even if all 3 of mine are invited to the same party, they each take a gift that they picked from the 'closet' (yes, i'm one of those; i buy a variety of things all year and store them in one place so the kids can 'shop' as needed - you know you get those last minute invitations too; but that's another rant. in fact, one year, i had such a good find that i bought like 10 of the same thing, and every girl). if we, the parents, are invited also, we take something too. i learned, as have my children, that it's good manners for each guest to come bearing gifts.

is it just me? discuss.